John Franklin, a noted evangelist, was speaking at two different churches in a large city in the same week.  A reporter was present at the first service.  After the sermon the evangelist pleaded with the reporter not to publish in the local paper any of the jokes he had used that night, since he was going to use the same stories the following night at the other church. 

Could I get my husband to address the Christmas cards?

I wondered.  The family was coming.  There was shopping to do, gifts to wrap, the tree to decorate, cooking, cleaning.  I arranged the cards, stamps, and address book on the table, then hopefully pulled up a chair and said, “Come on, Dear, let’s get these out of the way.” 

Small boy giving his Christmas gift wish lists to his parents:  “Fax this list to Santa Claus, e-mail this one to God, and I want to talk directly to Grandma.” 

The cold weather is finally here . . . and on a weekend with the Orangefield Christmas Parade.  Our church will have a float and booth in this year’s Christmas in Orangefield.  We would love for you to help us or come out and support us this year.  The parade begins at 10:30 a.m. and the festival opens at 11:30 a.m.  Admission to the festival is $2 for adults and $1 for kids and will be at the football field.  Come join the Christmas fun!

As a little girl climbed onto Santa’s lap, Santa asked the usual, “And what would you like for Christmas?” 

A fellow walked into an ice cream parlor with his dog under his arm.  “No dogs allowed,” said the owner. 

“But this dog can talk,” said the man.  “Listen, I’ll ask him three questions and if he answers, I eat free here tonight.”

The owner agreed.

“Spot,” called the man, “what’s the opposite of smooth?”

“R-r-ruff,” barked the dog.