Daylight Savings Time Ends
Uncle Sid
Uncle Sid underwent an operation at Mercy hospital and came out of the anesthesia. As he opened his eyes, he asked the nurse, “How come all the shades on the windows are pulled down?”
The nurse said, “The house across the street is on fire, and we didn’t want you to wake up thinking that the operation was a failure.”
Mike’s Funny
After the family sang some carols, four-year-old Kevin Kneeland commented “Wasn’t it good of the shepherds to put on clean clothes when they went to see baby Jesus?”
His mother asked, “What do you mean?”
Kevin explained, “We just sang, ‘While Shepherds Washed Their Socks by Night.’”
Do As I Do
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Ethiopia
There are over sixty references to Ethiopia in the Bible, and Christianity there goes back to the days of Philip in Acts 8. But the modern story of the Ethiopian church also sounds like readings from the book of Acts, especially among the Wallamos. In 1927, the Sudan Interior Mission (SIM) sent missionaries to evangelize this wild tribe, worshipers of Satan. During its annual “Passover” the Wallamos sacrificed a bull to Satan, sprinkling its blood on the doorposts of their houses and serving its raw flesh to every member of their families. The atmosphere smelled of demons.
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Eggs
Teacher: If I laid four eggs over there, and four eggs over here, how many eggs would I have?
Student: I don’t think you can do it, teacher.
Bible Reading Plan October 2017
Read the following during the month of October at your own pace:
- Psalms (3 chapters per week)
- Proverbs (1 chapter per day)
- John (entire book for month)
- 1,2, 3 John (entire book for month)
- Revelation (entire book for month)
Thank You
Hello everyone and recovery is continuing! I am so thankful for all those who have brought so many supplies that we needed. To all those volunteers who have gave countless hours rescuing, unloading supplies, working in homes, housing those displaced, and many other things that are not coming to my mind right now. You all have truly been Jesus to our community. Thank you again!
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How Do You Spell Puma
Teacher: How do you spell puma?
Student: P-O-O-M-A.
Teacher: The dictionary spells it P-U-M-A.
Student: You didn’t ask me how the dictionary spells it. You asked me how I spell it.
Bible Reading Plan September 2017
Read the following at your own pace for September:
- Psalms (3 chapters per week)
- Proverbs (1 chapter per day)
- Hosea (entire book for month)
- Joel (entire book for month)
- Amos (entire book for month)
- Obediah (entire book for month)
- Jonah (entire book for month)
- Micah (entire book for month)
- Nahum (entire book for month)
- Habakkuk (entire book for month)
- Zephaniah (entire book for month)
- Haggai (entire book for month)
- Zechariah (entire book for month)
- Malachi (entire book for month)