A health nut is talking to his co-worker.  The only thing he likes more than jogging is telling people about his jogging.  He says, “I now jog to work behind the bus in which I used to ride to work.  I feel great and I save $2.00 a day.”

The friend says, “Why don’t you save $20 and jog behind a cab?”

A survey conducted by the U.S. Census Bureau asked young adults about the importance of various life transitions. Here’s what the young adults said about transitions were “extremely important” to them:

Monday, April 30:

Israel Wants a King – Israel rejects God as their king

Monday, April 23:

Ruth’s Virtue – The awe of the kinsmen redeemer and Ruth the virtuous woman

The city man bought a farm and was visited by his new neighbor.  He asked him, “Can you tell me where the property line runs between our farms?”

The farmer looked him over and asked, “Are you talking owning or mowing?”

Leigh, my five-year-old brother, was listening to my mother and I argued.  When Mom told me that I was just going to have to live with the consequences, Leigh piped up, “If Dory is going to live with consequences, can I have her room?”

The loaded minivan pulled in to the only remaining campsite.  Four children leaped from the vehicle and began feverishly unloading gear and setting up the tent.  The boys rushed to gather firewood, while the girls and their mother set up the camp stove and cooking untensils.

A nearby camper marveled to the youngsters’ father, “That, sir, is some display of teamwork.”

The father replied, “I have a system; no one goes to the bathroom until the camp is set up.”

The shipwrecked mariner had spent several years on a deserted island.  Then one morning he was thrilled to see a ship offshore and a smaller vessel pulling out toward him.  When the boat grounded on the beach, the offer in charge handed the marooned sailor a bundle of newspapers and told him, “With the captain’s compliments.  He said to read through these and let us know if you still want to be rescued.”